Dina and I have been enjoying a lot of Burn Notice on DVD lately. It has some really resonant enneagram types, such as Bruce Campbell as a Seven-y retired government agent.

But the clearest example of type is portrayed by Sharon Gless, as the Type Two mother of Burn Notice hero Michael Westen. Take a look at the vid and see what you think.

I’m an avid Scrubs watcher, in part because I love the excessively expressive characters. My favorite is Dr. Cox, the unabashed anger ball of a Type Eight.

Dr. Cox cracks me up, as do all expressive Eights, in part because they say and do the stuff that I choose not to. As an Eight strongly connected to my inner Two, I limit and filter out much of what my Eight WANTS to say because, well, I like having friends.

Dr. Cox calls out stupidity, ignorance, uncertainty, and pretty much anything else that gets in his way. While my Eight part loves to watch that, I would have a hard time with the repercussions of behaving that way in my real life.

I allow a few moments, from time to time, of just blatantly stating the obvious, making a hard-edged joke, or being otherwise overtly reactive to people, and I believe that because these moments are more rare and (most of the time) filtered through my spirit-connection and Self, they’re much more effective in provoking change.

There is a time when cutting through the crap, calling out the BS, and even exaggerating extremes is called for. Unfortunately for Eight, that time is not ALL the time. So when we’re healthy, we learn to moderate inside ourselves a lot.

But that doesn’t stop me from finding it cathartically hysterical when I see those moments happen, repeatedly, on the screen.

This song just popped into my head and I sought it out on YouTube.

Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding

And watching him perform it, I realized that this is the tactic we so often forget to take with ourselves.

Working with our enneagram types, we get frustrated or saddened by the challenges of just being us. But there is nothing in our egos, our personalities, that is there by accident or design flaw.

Everything within us exists for a reason. So says Systems Theory. All the components of what makes us up function together in some kind of a dance. More like the relationship of stars and planets than that of gears in a watch, but everything is all working together.

As an Eight, I do have the gift of direct speech, of quick judgement and action. And I also have the challenge of weighty words. My actions are loud and powerful, simply by the energy of who I am.

And there’s a way I can criminalize myself for any misstep. Any action I take, any word I say, if not examined and filtered, could have major repercussions.

Combine that with the fact that I’m a Sagittarius (aka the one who struggles with “foot in mouth” syndrome), and you see a recipe for a person who could make a lot of destructive mistakes.

That’s one way to look at it.

It took my great friend Dina many hours over an emotional dinner to show me that I didn’t need to further hobble my powerful words. She showed me, through the lens of the enneagram, that my Eight, with all its glories and struggles, is so necessary to the circle of life.

And as I started reframing who I am based on knowing my type, I realized how much my inner Eight needs my kindness, sympathy, and wisdom. I don’t need to shut her up; I need to listen to her and lead for her, not from her.

Seeing Otis Redding today reminds me of this.
What if, in our self-exploration and healing, we kept that viewpoint in mind. Said, “how does this serve me?” rather than “how do I get rid of this?”.

What if we tried some tenderness?

Have you brought kindness to your inner enneagram type? If so, I’d love to hear about it.

Rachel and I often have breakfast at The Bagel Deli, in part because of this wonderful Type Six owner and operator, Dale.

He let me come into the back of the store and film him whipping some cream cheese. It makes sense to me that Six would be able to be so normal on camera, simply doing his job, without affectation.

Some key things to look for in this video of a Type Six are his sense of comfort, safety, dedication to service and personable ease.

For our first online video, I sneaked a quick shot of our type Two friend Meegan. Being a Two, she kept being goofy when she knew the camera was on her, so I grabbed a shot when she wasn’t paying attention to me, hoping to get her authentic energy on film.

I think this shot captures her vivaciousness, humor, and perky relational connectiveness very well.

And for those who will wonder, yes, I absolutely did get her permission to use this. (Hey, I’m an Eight. Sometimes I find it’s easier to try something first and get permission afterward.)

Many thanks to Meegan M! You are a charmer, doll.