I received an email from a Type Three today who wanted me to share this with our blog readers and fellow Enneagram Lovers:

So as a 3 I am very used to getting what i want. In general things are easy for me and if not, with an little (sometimes a lot) of effort I can just make things happen. If i want it then it shall be so is generally how I roll. I see something, i go for it, and i get it.

Until now… I fell in love a few months ago. It’s divine, infinite, true, etc… REALLY spiritual for me. I can’t pretend to know what other people experience when they are in love but my experience has been indescribable, it’s Godly…

Now it’s ended, by the other other person, and for the 1st time in my life i feel like i have no control over the outcome of my life. I am 100% convinced this person is my soulmate. The person i have known for many many lifetimes. I feel like we have been trying to make this work for many many lifetime and everytime this person has sabotaged it.

Anyway, the point is, i am struggling with this lack of control. No matter how much I want it, this relationship is one thing i can’t “make happen”… it a sobering reality for me! Ahh, life… love… so complicated! So perfect too tho! This too shall pass!

First, I thank our reader for sharing what sounds like a very challenging story.

Second, I’d like to ask a question of all our readers: Does this sound like a type-specific issue to you?

I ask because I’ve had a very similar experience in my life, and I have also seen a couple Type Seven friends experience this as well.

Is this something that affects Threes and Eights more because we struggle with control issues? What about the Sevens? Is it simply their Eight wing that makes this situation feel so hard?

Or is this kind of experience more universal?

We’d love to hear your thoughts.