I just discovered this article written yesterday in the New York Times. It’s discussing 15 years’ worth of research that indicate some children are born with anxiety.

I can’t even look beyond the first couple paragraphs without my Type Eight wanting to say, “duh!”

To me, and to those with whom I talk enneagram, the notion that type is present from birth seems obvious. As does the notion that some people have more anxiety, innately, than others. Sound like a potential Type Six, anyone?

(Funny enough, the person who sent this to me is, in my opinion, an unidentified Type Six.)

Certainly, some of these “anxiety” babies they talk about in the study could be other types as well. And I’m curious about what you think.

Read the full article here.

Ever wonder why some types tend to not get along?

One of our friends and Enneagram Lovers, Everett, started a topic about just that in our Enneagram Lovers Club.

From this thread came a great discussion about Type Ones and Type Sixes. I hadn’t heard about any issues between Ones and Sixes before, but Everett and James, a One, discovered they had similar issues with their counterparts.

Here’s a snippet:

James: …till this day most of the closest friends I have had, have been Sixes. But, when it comes to our belief structures, they always conflict with one another, and that tends to make for a lot of resentment in our friendships, or relationships at times. They are always clinging to their beliefs, and I am always the one challenging them. What I hope to be a debate, and exchange of ideas, turns out to be an argument. It upsets me when I am no longer a reliable source of security for that person.”

Everett: I have a friend who is a one and even though we have been friends for years there is always this tension between us. Like competitive brothers. Each trying to show each other how well we are doing (on a very subtle level). So even though we have been friends for years on some level I still wonder whether he ‘likes’ me or not!”

James: I have also been competitive with some of my Six friends at times! …I believe what it comes down to is that there is a huge lack of communication between these two types due to such a difference in the way we establish and express our belief structures. I can always make a connection with a Six, but when we start to delve into more personal or in depth topics, there is always confrontation. It really is great talking about this with you.”

To read their whole exchange, check out our budding community site at Enneagramlovers.ning.com.

If you’re an enneagram lover, you’re SO invited to join us!

When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness.
Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful
as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.

–Margaret Wheatley

This is a picture of me and my BESTEST guy friend in the whole world, Peter.
Peter is a type Six with a Seven wing and a psychotherapist in private practice.  He’s also an extrovert which (combined with the 6w7wing) makes him quite the connection junkie.  He loves spending time with friends, and social groups with a shared purpose or common goal.

He is very masterful at making me feel safe and cared for.  When he comes and picks me up for a ride, I can shut off the part of my brain that worries.  Ahhhhhh….

And he’s a first-time Dad to baby-boy Finn, who’s almost 8 months old.  I think Sixes are natural Fathers.  Peter is so gentle with Finn, and loves to hold him and isn’t too much of a dude to baby talk .  It’s actually quite adorable!

So, a few of the positive qualities of type Six that I’m bringing to light here: they can be amiable friends and community members, doting Dads….and they have the capacity to make most people feel safe and attended to.  Oh, and they aren’t afraid to be goofy.

I think being a Six is a VERY good thing!

Rachel and I often have breakfast at The Bagel Deli, in part because of this wonderful Type Six owner and operator, Dale.

He let me come into the back of the store and film him whipping some cream cheese. It makes sense to me that Six would be able to be so normal on camera, simply doing his job, without affectation.

Some key things to look for in this video of a Type Six are his sense of comfort, safety, dedication to service and personable ease.