Today at tea, I was listening to a Type Four friend describe one of her “tools” for working with herself on a daily basis.

She talked about playing the “Positivity” game. I was curious and asked her more about it, because, well, I always apply everything people say to myself to see if I think it’s useful or true. (Yeah, I know, I’m an Eight.)

My Four friend talked about how she tries to apply positivity to everything in her life, saying “yes” at least internally, if not externally, to everything that comes up in her day.

I was struggling with that a little, in terms of whether that seemed applicable to me. I mean, I have a consistent level of judgment. But is judgment the same thing as negativity? And doesn’t my judgment serve me? (Sure, I can have my negative days, but mostly, I feel pretty positive.)

This got me to thinking about what it is that I do to work with my way of being. And I realized that I play my own game, which I’ve dubbed “Alternate Stories.” It’s about surrendering my certainty about why people do the stuff they do, so that I get less triggered by it. (Read more about my Alternate Stories game here.)

So now I’m REALLY thinking…do we all have different games we play, or ways of coping with our personality types, our innate energies?

My Type Nine hubby pointed out that my Alternate Stories technique really would not be helpful to him. He’s plagued with enough possibility as it is, and figuring out what reality to believe in is already hard enough for him.

If you’re reading this, tell us: What’s your game and is it related to your enneagram type?

Pictured here is me and my friend Mollia. We are both dance/fitness instructors with The Nia Technique and we co-create dance routines for our students. We’ll do musical selection, arrangement, and choreography centered around a theme. For both Mollia and I, this process is a passion, a labor of love.

I think our productive partnership speaks to the synergy between a Type Seven and a Type Four. We love to “talk shop” – theory, process, the art and craft of creation. We both get flashes of genius, and we support each other to follow through to completion.

No doubt, she brings an appreciation of depth and the benefit of preparation. I keep us balanced by trusting the moment, and emphasizing play and unrehearsed goofiness. It’s a stellar combination.

After Dina’s Nia dance class today, one of the regular students had an epiphany. LouAnn, a type four, came up to me and shared the following:

Pain is something that exists to bring us back to the present moment. It just wants our attention and all we need to do is go inside and embrace it like a newborn babe, with love!

I forget this sometimes.

(See her written version in the comment book photo on the left.)

I told her that I forget, too. As an eight, I can ignore my own pain until it tries to break down all my doors.

Thanks for sharing, LouAnn!